Utopian Turtletop. Monsieur Croche's Bête Noire. Contact: turtletop [at] hotmail [dot] com

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Over a week ago I broke with tradition and listened to a Christmas song -- actually, an anti-Christmas song -- before Advent, when I got the email from my friend John de Roo --

“I see a reindeer and I want it painted black” --

He lays it down for free download, check it out: “Paint Christmas Black.”

Other favorite anti-Christmas songs:

The Sonics, channeling a bitter Chuck Berry on amphetamines, “Don’t Believe in Christmas” -- “cuz I didn’t get nothin’ last year.”

Clyde Lasley and the Cadillac Baby Specials drunkenly crooning over a blues-soul shuffle, “Santa Came Home Drunk,” with the lovely female background singers, “Ooh, Santa, Santa’s drunk again.”

“A Christmas Carol” by Tom Lehrer has his typically jaunty demeanor, but the lyrics’ wit has bite.

Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly,
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say "when."
Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens,
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.

“Blue Xmas (To Whom It May Concern)” -- credited to Miles Davis, but written and sung by Bob Dorough -- has a more sour, dour vibe. Dorough later wrote “Three Is the Magic Number” and “Figure Eight.”

Another sardonic vibe comes from Canadian composer and plunderphonist John Oswald, who assaulted the Bing Crosby recording of “White Christmas” in a terrific plunderphonics piece called “White.”

-- image of Santa by T. C. Boyd, 1848

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